


if i fell

by SnixxxSmythe



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Curses, M/M, Siren
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-16
Updated: 2019-01-16
Packaged: 2019-10-11 05:40:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,154
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17441009
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SnixxxSmythe/pseuds/SnixxxSmythe
Summary: Gary isn't particularly eager to talk to John anymore, but when it becomes necessary to keep Gary alive, are they able to work out their issues?orIn which Gary is done, Ava and Sara are wise, and John takes a very long time to figure out what the hell to do.





	if i fell

John had finally managed to slip out of Gideon's omniscient observance on the ship, lighting a cigarette backed as far as possible into a corner of the cargo bay. He hesitated for a moment as he was bringing the cig to his mouth. Constantine had been smoking less and less lately, pretending not to know why. 

 

_ “You know how much those take off your life, right?” Gary inquired, turning onto his side to face John. “You really shouldn't have them this much. Or at all.” _

_ John chuckled, sitting up against the headboard of Gary's bed. “Love, I'm going to Hell after this. That's going to be an eternity, I'm not sure if those few years here will really matter.” He flicked open his lighter.  _

_ Gary sat up next to him. “Did you know having a smoker near you frequently is as unhealthy as occasional smoking?” he asked innocently. _

_ Rolling his eyes, John closed his lighter and pulled the other man close. “You're a sly one, you know that?” _

 

Constantine shook his head, taking in a long drag of smoke. Gary wasn't here anymore. So why did he feel guilty?

Of course, Sara felt that was the perfect moment to interrupt John's peace and quiet.

“Guys, we've got a magic alert. Everyone to the bridge.” 

The man rolled his eyes, putting out his fag and throwing it into the nearest garbage chute.

“I can see you, Mr Constantine,” Gideon informed him sternly. 

“Bloody terrified, love,” he replied sarcastically as he made his way to the bridge.

 

“All right, Legends,” Sara started a little too enthusiastically for John's liking, “we've got an alert coming from Pilos, Greece, 2016. Gideon, can you check the articles?”

The AI responded immediately. “There are reports of the disappearance of three men and a woman just off the coast, all within a week.”

Sara turned to John expectantly. He frowned. “I'd say Kraken, but they're extremely rare and tend to go after larger prey. Plus, if it's gone unnoticed this long it can't be too large, can it?”

 

“What if it's humanoid?” Zari perked up. “They could go around unnoticed…”

“...and gain the trust of their prey, indeed,” John finished, turning to open his spellbook. “So we're looking for some kind of merperson?” Ray said. ”Are we sure it can't just be a shapeshifter or something?” he wondered, earning him an elbow to the side from Charlie. ”We don't need to hunt humans, moron.”

 

John shook his head. “There are too many types… We'll have to do some recon.”

Sara nodded, clapping her hands. “Okay, put on your summer clothes, guys. We're going on a trip.”

 

\---

 

Gary Green was late. It was 7 a.m. and he would be on time, sure, but oversleeping for an hour would keep him from being able to eat a proper breakfast. So as his coffee machine started, Gary gave up on trying to fry an egg within the few minutes he had reserved for food.

 

Instead, he went straight into the bathroom, splashing his face with water instead of taking a shower. Sometimes he really disliked himself for obeying the rules about using his courier outside of work.

Fifteen minutes later he was downing his coffee, of course spilling it on his shirt, creating a small but very noticeable stain.

“Of course,” he muttered, “it’s that kind of day.” He glanced at the completely ignored kitchen table. God, he was craving french toast. No, not french toast. Don’t think about it, it reminds him too much of-

 

_ “Hey,” Gary said shyly, coming out of his bedroom to the very satisfying view of John Constantine, shirtless, in Gary’s dumb Beebo sweatpants, sliding a delicious looking piece of toast onto a large pile of those slices. “Morning, love,” John replied as he carried the plate to a surprisingly neatly set kitchen table. “I made breakfast.” _

_ Gary chuckled as John pulled out a chair for him, sitting down hesitantly. “Why did you make me breakfast in my own house?”  _

_ John shrugged. “Woke up early,” he said nonchalantly. “Figured you always make yourself breakfast.” _

_ Gary smiled. “Well, thanks.” He toned his smile down a little as John put a slice of french toast on his plate. “I’m sorry about last night.” _

_ Constantine glanced up at him, a frown appearing on his face. “What do you mean, squire?” _

_ “You know,” Gary explained, fiddling with his fork, “for not, um, putting out.” _

_ John sighed. ‘Fuck’ a voice in Gary’s head said, ‘you fucked up, look what you’ve done-’ _

_ “Gary, love, stop. I can hear you think.” the warlock reached over the table, taking his hand. “I don’t care about you not putting out.” _

_ ‘See, he doesn’t even want to have sex with you-’ _

_ “I mean, I’d love to woo you, don’t get me wrong, but you told me you weren’t ready. I don’t want to sleep with someone who isn’t ready, squire.” A slightly crooked but genuine smile appeared on his face. “It’s all right.” _

 

Gary shook his head. Not the time for nostalgia. He straightened his tie and went out the door.

 

“There’s a stain on your shirt.”

“Really? I had no idea, Ava, thanks.” Gary replied dryly. It was five to eight, so they were technically off duty, which meant Gary’s formality and Ava’s strictness were still out the window. Ava laughed, stopping her assistant and raking a quick hand through his hair. “When will you learn to wear less hair gel?”

“Probably when my alarm learns to work properly,” he answered, drawing a laugh from Ava again. “So, what’s on for today?”

“There’s a level four in 1854 I need you to take care of. It was small, but yesterday it was a level two, so please take care of that before it escalates any further. Take Nate with you, he needs to be out in the field. I think the desk work is giving him back pains.”

Gary chuckled and nodded, scanning through the file quickly. Somehow, Ava usually knew what missions he wouldn’t screw up. 

“I’m going with the Legends today, they have some sort of merperson. Can you hold down the fort while I’m gone?”

Gary gasped theatrically. “It’d be an honor, Director.”

Ava laughed. “Get to work, nerd,” she said affectionately, taking a left turn into her office.

 

“Are you okay?”

“Hm?” Gary glanced up at Nate from his papers. Their mission had gone off without a hitch, almost, which left them with more time to write a long report on it. 

“I said, are you okay? You seem tired.” Nate was frowning.

“Yeah, I’m okay. I overslept ‘cause I stayed up really late last night.”

Nate leaned in. “Something getting you down?”

“Well-” it was just then that four of the Legends and Ava portaled directly into their office. Sara and Zari were both soaking wet and Ray looked properly disheveled. John still looked great, somehow. Of course.

 

“Speak of the devil,” he mumbled too quietly for anyone but Nate to hear, before getting up with a wide grin on his face. “Heya Legends! Director Sharpe! What happened?”

“We went out swimming,” Zari said sarcastically as Nate tossed her and Sara a towel.

Sara rolled her eyes. “There’s a siren off the coast of Greece, apparently. It drew us in, we almost got killed.”

“Okay…” Nate started. “What does that have to do with us?” Gary finished.

John stepped forward. “I’m afraid there’s only one particular… sort of person that’s immune to a siren’s call, love.”

“Don’t call me that,” Gary said sternly. The Legends looked at him in surprise. “Gary, are you okay?” Zari asked sympathetically. Constantine’s expression was a mix of confusion, disappointment and guilt.

“I’m fine, I’m just tired.” Gary looked at John, a challenging glint in his eyes. “What do you need me to do?”

 

\---

 

“So I’m just supposed to stand here until it shows up?” Gary was standing at the front of their yacht, (where had they gotten a yacht?) leaning over the railing.

They had moved about a mile off the coast of Pilos, and it had been an hour since then.

He turned his head to Sara and she nodded from the back of the boat.. “It’ll come. Just wait. It took about five minutes with me.”

‘She’s a lot more tempting than you,’ a voice inside him said. 

“I can hear you think, squire. Sirens aren’t attracted to humans the same way other humans are. The easier the prey, the faster they’ll get here,” John said. Gary ignored him, but smiled back at Nate when his friend playfully rolled his eyes in his direction.

“Are you saying I’m easy, John?” Sara said, smirking. 

“I was just-” exactly then, a fin popped up above the water and the Legends fell silent. Slowly, the head of the siren rose up above the water. They were attractive, Gary thought, objectively. But as J- Constantine had explained, the creature’s actual magic wouldn’t work on him.

“Hey there, gorgeous,” the siren said to him. ‘Pretend to be drawn in,’ he reminded himself, ‘that’s what Constantine told you to do.’

“Hey yourself,” Gary said, leaning over to look at them closer. The siren had short, sea-green hair and unlike the mermaids Gary had seen on TV as a kid, scales covered almost their entire torso like a tight tank top. They were floating effortlessly on the water.

 

“What’s your name?” the siren asked him.

“Gary,” he decided to be honest after a moment. It wouldn’t matter in a few minutes. “What’s yours?”

“Ephydris.” They smiled, a dangerous glint in his eyes that Gary assumed was supposed to be magically seducing, so he leant in further.

“Come closer so I can see you,” Ephydris said, “I want to look at you better.”

Gary smirked. “I think it’s a lot easier for you to come closer, isn’t it?”

“Touché,” the siren said, dipping into the water to come back up just by the edge of the boat.

In the moments they were gone, Gary turned back to check in with the Legends. John seemed to be preparing some sort of spell. “Stall,” he mouthed to Gary, who nodded and quickly turned back to look at Ephydris. 

 

“Who are you talking to?” they asked, immediately wary.

“My dad fell asleep,” Gary explained, “wouldn’t want him waking up and seeing me associating with a mysterious merperson.” He was a good liar.

Ephydris smirked. “Can I touch you, Gary?”

“Eager, are we,” Gary said playfully, pushing down any rising nerves. 

_ “Don’t let them touch you,”  _ John had said,  _ “they’ll take you down immediately.” _

“C’mon,” the siren said, and they chuckled. “I wanna show you something.”

Gary didn’t move. He’d run out of cards to play.

“What’s wrong?” Ephydris frowned, rising further above the water. Their eyes darkened. “Why don’t you want me?”

 

Gary backed away slowly as the siren’s eyes turned pitch black. “Come with me,” they hissed.

When Gary didn’t move, Ephydris jumped out of the water, screeching loudly.

“Now, John!” Sara exclaimed, but the warlock was still fiddling with the spell as the siren’s hands grew into long, sharp claws that raked over Gary’s cheek, leaving a deep gash.

 

“John!” Sara yelled, and finally, a large net that seemed to be made of light threw itself over the siren and wrapped tightly around them. They screeched louder and louder, until Sara, with a roll of her eyes, hit them on the head with her bo staff. They went still. “Let’s get this thing to Mona,” Ava said, but John was distracted. “Fuck,” he exclaimed, coming up to Gary quickly. “Can I touch your face, squire?” Gary glared for a few seconds before sighing and nodding. “Fuck,” Constantine said again as he examined Gary’s cheek. “You’re infected.”

“So what, they’re zombies now?” Gary wondered, pushing down the fear that was rising up inside his stomach. John wouldn’t see him scared.

 

John himself, however, seemed very scared as he shook his head. “Gary, if we don’t fix this…”

“Then what?” Gary let his worry show on his face now.

“Then you’ll die.”

 

\---

 

“I’m going to be fine, Nate.”

The historian ignored him, still rushing through the library grabbing book after book on magic and curses. John was standing over the desk, leafing through his spellbook rapidly. “I can’t bloody find it,” he growled.

“John, I think Ava is panicking enough for all of us,” Sara told him. “Gideon, have you found anything?”

“Not yet, captain, but I’m still looking.” Even the AI’s voice showed some concern.

Gary cleared his throat. “Guys?” they all ignored him, “guys!”

Sara turned to him. “What?”

“There is one person that might know a cure,” he said hesitantly.

John stared at him for a moment before realization dawned on him. “No,” he said. “You’re not going anywhere near that thing.”

“It’s our only shot,” Sara told him, “it’ll know, if Gary can get it out of them-”

“He can’t,” John said shortly, going back to leafing through his book.

 

Anger rose inside of Gary. Who was Constantine to say what he could and couldn’t do? “I’m going in,” he decided, turning to leave the library. 

John slammed his book closed and grabbed Gary’s arm.

“Don’t  _ fucking  _ touch me,” Gary almost screamed, yanking his arm out of the other man’s grip. “Stop trying to protect me, you gave up on that a while ago.” With that, he opened a portal and left for the bureau.

John let his hand drop, defeated. Nate shook his head, setting his books down on the desk and leaving too.

 

“Damn,” Sara told him then, “I’ve never seen him that angry. Or angry at all.”

John sighed. “He’s right. This is my fault, too. If I had timed the spell better…”

“John,” Sara told him, gently touching his shoulder, “I really don’t think that’s what he’s angry about.” With a sympathetic look, she left the library as well.

 

\---

 

“You can’t go in with me, Mona. Not with the sound barrier off. It’ll draw you in.”

“It won’t, actually,” Mona explained, smiling gently. “I read up on it, and considering I’m also unexperienced in, um, that, I should be as safe as you are.”

Gary nodded. “Fine.”

 

Together, they entered the siren’s cell, Mona pressing a few buttons next to the door to dismantle the sound barrier. “Hi, Ephydris,” Gary said.

“Don’t,” the siren said. They looked like they had already exhausted themselves trying to get out. Now, they were floating in their water basin. They had returned to their previous, beautiful form. Then, they looked up, unimpressed by the wound on Gary’s cheek.

“I’m gonna die, soon,” he told the siren. “Unless you help me cure this.”

The siren chuckled humorlessly. “Why would I? You’re probably gonna send me to hell soon. You took my freedom away.”

“You were killing people,” Gary replied. “We had no choice. But you’re not going to hell.”

Ephydris looked up at that, frowning. “I’m a monster, aren’t I? Why not send me back?”

They swam closer to the edge of their basin.

 

“You don’t deserve hell,” Mona spoke up, approaching them. “No one does.”

The siren laughed. “Right. But I do deserve to be locked up in here?” They knocked their tailfish against the barrier in demonstration.

“We’re still looking for a larger space to give you, this one is temporary,” Mona explained. “Look. This isn’t about taking your freedom away, this isn’t about punishment. This is about what you were doing with that freedom. We’re trying to keep people from getting hurt, taking your freedom away has nothing to do with that.”

 

The siren seemed to think about that for a moment. “You aren’t scared of me, are you?”

Mona shrugged. “You have no reason to hurt me. And your magic doesn’t work on me.”

They thought, again. “This larger space,” it said suddenly, “I need real sea water. And I can eat fish, but I hate it. I prefer mammals.”

Mona nodded, grabbing a notebook from her tray and writing it down. “I can get that done, Ephydris.”

“Thank you,” the siren said. “I guess promising to never hurt humans again won’t get me out of here, huh?”

Mona smiled sadly. “No. I’m sorry.”

“You seem nice,” Ephydris said. “Most humans aren’t nice. The ones I caught… they were hunting dolphins. Not to eat, but for sport.” Their face twisted into anger. “They deserved to die.”

“No one deserves to die.”

The creature looked at Gary. “I disagree,” they said. “But, to be fair, you don’t. True love’s kiss.”

“What?”

“That’ll save your life. True love’s kiss. I know, it’s cliche, but it’s the truth. It has to be mutual, though.”

Gary sighed, but nodded. “Thank you, Ephydris.”

The siren nodded at him. “You’re welcome.”

 

\---

 

“Are you going to talk to him?”

John glanced up from his book to see Ava, turned away from him. There was something off about her voice, but he decided not to read into it. “I doubt he wants to talk to me right now, Sharpie.”

 

She rolled her eyes at the nickname. “I doubt that too.” She leaned against the desk, still facing away. “But he could be dead in a few hours, so I’d take my chances if I were you.”

“Then why aren’t you,” John answered, turning his attention back to his book.

Ava turned, slamming on the desk. Her face was covered in tear tracks and her eyes were red and puffy. “Because I’m here, trying to convince one of the few people Gary’s ever trusted to not let him down!” She took a deep breath. “Not once more, at least. But clearly, it’s no use. Enjoy breaking his heart all over again.” She stormed out.

 

John just sat there, staring at the door Ava had left through. Director Sharpe didn’t cry, ever.  And granted, she was right. He’d broken Gary’s heart. But that was better than being responsible for breaking his soul, right? 

Was it?

 

\---

 

Gary and Mona portaled back onto the bridge. “Where’s Ava?” Gary asked immediately. “She’s with Sara, in the cargo bay,” Zari told him, and he went into the hallway immediately, leaving Mona behind.

 

“I don’t know what I’ll do, Sara.” Gary halted himself at the entrance to the cargo bay. “He’s the only person that’s been there for me from the start. He keeps me sane, he’s one of the reasons I even manage life. He’s my best friend and he doesn’t even know it.”

 

He peeked in to see Sara and Ava sitting on the floor, the director’s face buried in Sara’s shoulder. Sara saw him, of course. “Babe, Gary’s here.”

Ava lifted her head and Gary saw the tears covering her face. “Hey,” she said softly, her voice clearly broken.

Sara got up slowly. “I’ll leave you two,” she said. She stopped for a second to rest her hand on Gary’s shoulder, then left.

 

Gary sat down next to Ava. “I talked to Ephydris,” he told her. Her head shot up, suddenly alert. “And?”

“And he gave me a potential cure, but…” Ava frowned. “But what? Gares, what’s the cure?”

He glanced down to the floor. “True love’s kiss. Mutual true love’s kiss.”

 

Ava stared at him. “Have you tried?”

“What do you mean?”

“Gares, come on. We both know you’re in love with someone.”

Gary chuckled, but it was a sad sound. “Yeah, I am. But it has to be mutual, like I said.”

“Well, isn’t it worth a try? What do you have to lose?”

 

The time agent stared at the wall across from him. “What if it doesn’t work, Ava?”

“Then what?”

“Then I’ll know for sure that he doesn’t love me back.” He turned to Ava. “I don’t know if I can handle that.”

Ava nodded. “Well, this might be grim, but if he doesn’t love you back, you’ll be dead within an hour, so you really won’t have much to worry about.”

Gary sighed. “Good point.” He got up. “Can’t win if I don’t try, can I?”

“Exactly.”

 

\---

 

Sara entered the library. “Gary’s back,” she told John.

“Did he find anything?”

She shrugged. “I didn’t ask. He wanted to talk to Ava.”

Constantine nodded, closing his spellbook. “This is pointless, isn’t it? Even if we find a cure, we probably won’t get it in time.”

 

Sara grabbed a chair and sat across from him. “Are you okay, John?”

He huffed. “Of course I’m not okay. He’s gonna die, Sara.”

“Why do you care so much?”

 

John stared at her. “You know why.”

Sara nodded. “Yeah, I do. Don’t you think he deserves to know too?”

Sighing, he pinched the bridge of his nose. “What if I end up hurting him?”

“I thought you said he was gonna die.” Sara got up. “What do you have to lose?”

She left him with that thought.

 

\---

 

‘You can’t do this,’ the little voice inside Gary said, but he ignored it the best he could. “Gideon, where’s Constantine?”

“He’s on the bridge with the other Legends, miss Wu and director Sharpe.”

“Great, an audience,” Gary mumbled as he stood still in the hallway for a moment.

Was this really a good idea? What if he- 

No. Gary straightened his back and adjusted his glasses, he could do this. He had nothing to lose. With that, he entered the bridge.

 

“Hi,” he said, approaching John directly and stopping to look at him.

“Hi,” John replied, clearly a little bit confused. “I’m sorry about earlier.”

“It’s fine.” Gary sighed. “Do we really have to do this here?”

“Yes,” Zari spoke up. “You do.”

Gary scratched his neck. John fixed his tie. They both looked at the other for a while. “You go first,” Gary told the warlock.

“All right,” he said. “I shouldn’t have ended things the way I did. I thought I was protecting you.”

 

_ “Why aren’t you talking to me?” Gary was desperate, following John around the apartment as he gathered his stuff. “John, for God’s sake, say something!” _

_ The other man stopped stuffing clothes into his suitcase, but didn’t turn to face him. “We can’t do this anymore, squire.” _

_ Gary frowned. “What do you mean ‘this’? What’s wrong with us?” _

_ “There’s a balance, Gary.” _

_ “What?” _

_ “Between good and evil. There’s a balance, and we’re disrupting it. I’m not good for you.” _

_ “I disagree.” Gary took a step forward, putting a hand on John’s shoulder, but he shrugged it off. “Please don’t touch me.” _

_ “Okay,” Gary said, “please don’t leave.” _

_ But John had already finished closing his suitcase and lifted it off the bed. “I’m sorry, Gary.” With that, he approached the door. _

_ “Are you?” _

_ John turned to face the agent. His glasses were crooked, and a few tears were running down his face. “Are you sorry?” _

_ Constantine closed his eyes and turned away. The other man would always come back to him if he admitted to his feelings. _

_ “No,” he said. With that, he shut the door and left a broken Gary standing alone in the hallway. _

 

“But you don’t need to be protected from me. Clearly,” he gestured to the darkening wound on Gary’s face, “it would be a lot more efficient for you to be protected  _ by  _ me instead.”

The agent chuckled.

“So I really am sorry, squire.” John looked at him, and Gary saw that he was being honest.

 

“I shouldn’t have closed off so much after what happened,” he started. “I avoided you, and I lied to myself about moving on.” John frowned, looking at him. “I told myself that I could,” Gary elaborated, “when I really couldn’t even if I tried.” He glanced at Mona. “And I did try.” she smiled.

“I’m still in love with you, John. And if you don’t feel the same way about me…”

He looked directly into Constantine’s eyes, with as much confidence as

possible.

 

“Then I’m really sorry about this.”

He closed the distance between them, pressing his lips against John’s. The warlock squealed uncharacteristically in surprise, but quickly wrapped an arm around Gary’s waist and returned the kiss, which resulted in Gary tangling a hand in John’s hair.

 

A lack of oxygen forced them apart after a few moments, and Gary felt a weird tingling sensation on his cheek. He touched it curiously, and found that it was completely smooth.

“Gary, it’s healed.” John was grinning at him, which was a hilarious sight, but that didn’t matter now.

 

“I know,” Gary said. He looked at Ava, who winked at him. “I guess I-”

Gary didn’t have a chance to finish his joke when John kissed him once more.

The people around them stared, and some of them (definitely Charlie and Sara) whistled, but they ignored it as their kiss quickly deepened.

“Okay, I’m out,” Zari said after a moment, turning away to face the console instead.

 

The two broke apart again, John’s hand resting against Gary’s healed cheek.

“You’re not leaving again, right?”

The warlock smiled. “Never.”

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed that! Shoutout to my friend fan_books_girl for beta reading, and to another friend of mine for coming up with a name for the siren! You know who you are.  
> I might write more in this verse if you guys like it, let me know!  
> X


End file.
